I drank a two-litre bottle of Diet Coke today. And, according to everyone present at Xinmei’s party, I’m addicted to the stuff.
I know this is not true (and no, I’m not in denial). And I shall prove it!
Reason 1: If I was “Addicted” to Diet Coke, I would be out to the shops every time I ran out. I would also steal money, mug people or commit other acts of deviancy in order to get the nessessary cash. I do NONE of these things. If my supply runs out, I accept it and drink something else. I was in France for two weeks a short while ago, and I did not consume one drop of Diet Coke. I do believe Abbi saw me only a few days later, and I was certainly not a shaking wreck.
Reason 2: In reference to my actions today, let me ask you this: if you found a £10 note and you offered it to people, but they said no, would you just leave it? Didn’t think so. I had a bottle of Coke, I offered it to people (eventually) and no-one wanted it. Am I supposed to just ignore it?
Reason 3: Under an oath I just made up, I can honestly say I choose certain drinks over Diet Coke. Chocolate Milk, for example. But I rarely get the chance to have it.
Reason 4: I’m satring to think people think I’m addicted by the way I act whilst I’m around it. Yes, its very nce, but I don’t really think its God’s nectar. Sorry if I mislead you.
Reason 5: Everyone says I’m addicted, but no-one does anything about it. This means either a) no-one actually believes I’m addicted or b) my “friends” are a bunch of assholes who care more about acting holier-than-thou about it than my health and safety. And I sure as hell don’t think that.
Reason 6: It’s not Crack, for God’s sake!