James reviews…annoying people
I think it was some rubbish film or something where some bloke (possibly a scientist) says “computers don’t make mistakes, people do”. This rant has nothing to do with computers, but the world would be a much better place without certain people.
You know the sort- people who will feed you a tiny appetiser of truth before shoving a big greasy lie down your throat. People who randomly shout “Harry Potter!” at you in the street because you have similar lengthed hair. People who will give you wrong directions so you will fall into an uncovered manhole for their amusement.
There are two ways to deal with these people- either ignore them, or… sorry, couldn’t resist. Ignoring annoying people never works, much to the denial of teachers and parents. Anyway, the best thing to do is, after they belch their malignant deviances into your face, say one of three things:
- “Thank you, kind sir. I shall do just that!”
- “You are indeed a gentleman. Let me shake your hand”.
- “But of course! You are absloutely right!”
After which, offer them your hand to shake. Usually too blinded by their own self-indulgance to decline, they shall take it. However, ensure you have one of those hand-buzzers attached to you, but set to “Kill” instead of “Buzz”. Fry that scourge on society. Watch his/her ashes fall to the ground like the cast-off from a slow burning cigarette, whilst shouting “Thank God almighty, we are free at last!!”
*Idea for this and parts of content inspired by the fine men of We Are Scientists. Thanks guys.
