James reviews…Radiohead
Nnnnnnnnnnnggg! Radiohead! What IS their problem? If I wanted to hear some wonky-eyed bloke complain over a piano backing track, I’d…well, nothing. I would NEVER want to do that.
So anyway, the Thom Yorke and Johnny Greenwood band is what you would get if my Physics teacher started a band, ie. boring as. They are a bunch of pretentious retards moaning about being rejected by the opposite sex (can you blame them?).
But being a bunch of whiny little berks and contributing to the whole Emo thing is not the only thing they are guilty of. Nope, they also take pride of place as one of the two bands the staff writers at NME like to imagine they are in bed with whilst no-one is looking. I can’t actually remember the last time Gaydiohead released any new material, but nooooooooo, NME can’t help but put them on every other cover, providing massive reviews of a single gig they played. Have you SEEN them? They just stand still! Mannequins with instruments! The bowl-haired guitarist looks like he’s asleep! I’ve seen more stage charisma on the bloke who comes out and says “two, two” into the microphone.
But the worst part? I hate to say it, but they are almost incessantly compared to MUSE! HOW? WHY?! They sound NOTHING alike! Take, for example, this song I saw the other day where old Lazy-Eye is in a big bowl of water. It’s basically 4 acoustic guitar notes played over and over again with the odd tap of what sounds like a xylophone.
Then, put it next to the unbearably awesome, two-minute long, super-charged-Doctor-Who-theme-at-the-edge-of-the-universe-guitar-solo-mosh-till-your-eyes-pop-out-and-you’re-drenched-in-sweat-nuclear-sound-explosion that is the outro from Muse’s new single, Knights of Cydonia, and anyone who ever compared the two bands should feel like the blithering idiot they are and promptly shot. I feel insulted as a Muse fan.
Sorry if you either like Radiohead or do not know who Radiohead are, but this unfair comparison really gets on my nerves.
And if someone calls them “the ’Head” ONE MORE TIME…
