James’ Poor Brain

Where else can you get screaming PE teachers, cowboy hats, drunken Maths teachers and Banoffi Pie all in one place? Why, the Prom of course!

Indeed, after some confusion about the cab (PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AGAIN, PEOPLE) I was pleased that mocking laughter at my clothes was the sole domain of my closest friends. Well, not pleased per se, but you get the idea. Anyway, I was surprised to see food I acually liked on the menu, whereas I normaly cannot even pronounce what is being served t fancy functions, let alone eat it without gagging. Well, except the desert. That was gross. Bit disappointed there was no other source of food for the next 3 hours, which meant I was hungry as wel as bored during the back-to-back electropop songs being played as “entertainment”. Well, except Fall Out Boy. But that’s like catching Syphilis during a bout of Herpes.

Actually, thats a bit harsh. It was fun seeing people who are normally quite restrained dance around like loons, and evryone was really friendly. Seriously, everyone. Even the chavs.

So the moral of the story, if it was a story, and if there was a moral o it, is that if you want people to be nice, you have to sit through hours of dance music.

Suffering for my art? Yesterday I was suffering for someone else’s.

You see, 14 hours were spent yesterday on a much-publicised Muse show, at the recently rebuilt Wembley Stadium (the second show the happen there - the first that was actually sold out). Besides the two-hour journey and the torrential rain that started when we joined the colossal queue and stopped when we got inside, even once we got inside there was a long, long wait for the music to start playing.

Fortunately the rain miraculously dissapeared, and Rodriguo y Gabriela took to the stage. With only two accoustic guitars and no vocals, they were certainly a bizzare choice for a stadium rock show, but there was no denying both the technical talent of the band and general quality ofthe songs. Minimalist and very good.

Dirty Pretty Things may fit into the ‘geneirc indie band’ label so loved by NME, but songs like ‘Deadwood’ put them well ahead of similar bands. Plus, as the only other rock band on show, they get the crowd suitably fired up, especially during set closer ‘Bang Bang You’re Dead’. Its a shame they all seem drunk.

Sadly, the last band on (before Muse) had neither the technical ability nor the rock n’ roll appeal of the first two acts. Why the Streets are playing today is anyone’s guess, and seemed to be more concerned with name-checking other bands than actually attempting a good show. Sure, the annoyingly frequent attempts at singing ‘Radio Ga Ga’ and short snippets of Lily Allen (why would Muse fans appreciate Lily Allen?) may have amused the casual music fans, but to those who had stood in place without food or water for 8 hours in order to get a good view of the headliners it just grates. Once Mike Skinner actually picks up is backing band’s guitar and actually mimes playing it, very few people are left in doubt as to whether this is a lame pop group.

Fortunately, about half an hour later, the lights go down and ochestra music blares out. As everyone expectedly stares towards the stage, craning necks to see when the band emerge, a seemingly inconspicuous platform in the middle of the audience explodes in a shower of confetti, Matt Bellamy, Chris Wolstenholme and Dom Howard standing triumphantly in the middle. To deafeningly loud screams, the band made their way down an extended walkway to the stage, and, finally, the real show began.

Starting off with a stadium-filling rendition of Knights of Cydonia, for the rest of the night its incredible song after incredible song after incredible fucking song, whether it be epic slow-burner Invincible or debut 1999 single Sunburn. Matt Bellamy practically screams down the microphone every time he opens his mouth, defying his diminuative appearance and making everyone scratch their head, wondering “How doe such a little squirt make such a massive noise?!”. Meanwhile, drummer Dom Howard nails the drums with piston force and Chris Wolstenholme headbangs like he has a scorpion on his head, never missing a note. In fact, the entire gig passes without a single mishap, the band not only grabbing the huge audience but wrapping them around their fingers. No other encouragement is need when Matt aks the crowd to hold aloft their mobile phones, causing a stunning stadium-wide display of twinklling star-like lights during the mellow Soldier’s Poem. Stage theatrics are not that limited however - the stage itself is decorated with large satellite dishes and glowing orbs, and large, confetti-filled balloons are released and bounced around the crowd during staple hit Plug In Baby - its a testament to the awe-inducing power of that song that half the audience were ignoring the ballons completely. Even bigger balloons are released for Blackout - this time with acrobats dangling from them. Acrobats! After this show, no-one is left in any doubt about Muse’s status as one of - if not the - best live band on the planet.

Finishing with two encores, the vocals being almost completely drowned out by the passionate sing-a-long mentality of the crowd, the band depart, probably already waiting for the exact same thing to happen at tommorow’s gig. the large, cheesy grins on each member’s faces enforce what everyone here is already thinking - there has never been a Muse show, or any music show in history, like this one.

Rain? Pah.

I used a bus and nothing bad happened! Its a miracle!

Also, History went well and I’ve only got two exams left, although one of them is Physics…

Oh well. I’m not interested in a career in spinning. 

In case you were wondering where I was today, I was involuntarily absent due to a series of very unfortunate events.

Event 1: I bought a Travelpass for the entire week, allowing my to travel to and from school, via bus, at my leisure. However, it turns out to be way more expensive than I anticipated, leaving me with about 3 quid left.

Event 2: The number 19 I used was twenty minutes early, forcing me to mill around Asda for half an hour before the 53 comes to take me to Purton. I go in MacDonalds and spend what i have left.

Event 3: When the 53 arrives, I’m told my travelpass isn’t valid in Purton. Obviously, if I had been told this prior to buying it, I wouldn’t have spunked 11 quid on it. I am left with no way to get to school.

Well, I’ll have to revise at home. Shame. I’ll just take the 19 home then. Until….

Event 4: The 19 that is supposed to take me down Cartwright Drive goes to the Outlet Village. I later find out “there are two types of 19 bus…”

Event 5: There isn’t another 19 (I double-checked this one) for twenty minutes, having seen it (this bit nearly made me scream) drive by whilst i was getting off the “wrong” 19 on the other side of the road.

Fortunately, thats where the bad things ended. After wandering around the Outlet, I catch the correct bus and finally go home, an hour after getting told my travelpass won’t work.

Oh. except one last thing…

Event 6: Get laughed at hysterically be sister who is home from College. Am likely to hear the end of it for weeks.

Check this out - a big, multi-purpose, all-knowing blog entry that covers almost all aspects of my recent life!

Muse at Wembley is only a month and a half away- this dawned on me whilst I was filling in my calender, and I nearly fell backwards with a double whammy of surprise and excitement. Bring it on.

Chemistry makes me feel like a fish, who has somehow flopped out of the water and is now gasping for non-existant breath on the riverbank. An autistic fish, in fact. Its the only exam I’m REALLy worried about.

We’ve had two applicants for the lead guitar position- one of them is good but can’t start until late June, and the other is pretty good and can start now but none of my friends like him.

Speaking of HCTR, SPREAD THE WORD -  12BAR, 3rd MAY. GO GO GO, TELL TELL TELL!

I’ve been listening to Billy Tallent II. Its good, but somewhat lacking in accessability. 8/10.

 I have a new favourite advert - a footballer falls down, apparently faking some kind of collossal hernia, when a giant tank rolls onto the pitch and points it turret at him. Mr T pops out, calls hima fool and throws a Snickers bar at him. Genius.

- Got annoyed because my ears hurt.

- Drank Diet Coke and SAVIOURED IT.

- Unpacked and lost my socks

- Went to town and bought lots of things, including a shiny watch that spins.

- Crazy watch-repair shop worker nearly breaks shiny new watch. 

- Went on a walk with Abbi. Peru Man is born.

- Listened to Nine Inch Nails. Suprisingly pleased. 

- Got sick for no apparent reason. Got better in about 5 minutes.

- Played a gig. Was thoroughly mediocre (damn you, A-string)

- Slept round Abbi’s with Dingle and Liddy, with about 2 hour’s notice

- Wondered why, a week after the plane landed, I still can’t hear properly

- Went to Pizza Hut and had to walk home. In the blazing heat. Water fights follow.

- Blogged.

School tommorow. Expect more frequent updates.

Maybe. 

-  

Howdy!

To be frank, Greece is not exactly a utopia. There is very little for teenagers to do (although the only ones I’ve seen are on school trips) and it costs two and a half euros for a small box of Pringles.

On the plus side, its a very beautiful country, and is of course filled with history and monuments. They also sell those ice cream cones Magnum used to make.

So far, I’ve walked on the beach, read my Muse book again, went to some ancient buildings, walked on the beach, went shopping in Athens, found a new nickname and walked on the beach some more.

Also (this bit is for Abbi)- I’m about 98% sure I DON’T HAVE DIABETES. This is because a) I do not need the toilet incessantly and b) I feel energetic and generally normal and not lousy like people with Diabetes do. My guess is that there was something in the water, or because I hadn’t been to the toilet a lot it caused a build up of nasty biological stuffs. Whatever happened, its nothing some antibiotics can’t fix.

 Have a fun holiday!

James xxx

Well, I’m off to Greece for a bit.

Rest assured I will miss everyone (espcially you) but will return soon for, you guessed it, FUN AND FROLICKING.

Bye for now,

James xxx

Indeed, as a “busser” (think mini-waiter) at Pizza Hut.

I’m very excited for 3 main reasons:

1- Decent money, ie. not what you’d get paid in a Vietnamese sweatshop making footballs

2- Free pizza/unlimited Diet Coke

3- I can finally tell the Evening AdVertiser people where they can stick their “Distribution Agent” job. I won’t really. I’ll be nice, hmph.

*well, in about 3 weeks, but still….

Well, we didn’t win BOTB, but with the wealth of impressively talented swindon bands that were they’re I’m not really surprised.

But playing was fun, as was the majority of the other acts. My pedal was being very gay, which was annoying, but people clapped. Pictures were being taken and should be up on www.swindonweb.com at some point. I’ll post them here when they do. Highlights of the evening include a metal version of that song from the lion king about (In The Jungle?), a cover of Agitated by Muse and Rag Doll Girl’s entire set. On a side note, I met Haze and he was a thoroughly nice bloke.

The sudeen improvement that took place between Tuesday and Wednesday in our general performance was huge. Things sounded better; much, much less mistakes were made; the quality of stage presence shot up; if we played like we did last night on Tuesday, we might have had a fighting chance. It was a shame the support band were a bit crappy.

But screw them! :D